Cherishing the Little Moments

Many of my mornings during our time in Kolkata have been spent at Daya Dan—one of the Missionaries of Charity, which is dedicated to girls and boys with varying mental and physical disabilities. After a quick and sweaty ride on a bus then a tuk tuk (that are now becoming routine), I leave my shoes at the door and ascend to 3rd floor to get to work. 

After our daily tasks of bed-making and laundry, we basically have the rest of the morning to hang out with the girls until it is time to assist in feeding at lunch. This “in between” time is by far the best part of the day for me and yet at times, the most challenging. Beyond the more obvious issue of a language barrier, some of the girls are young and feisty and seemingly couldn’t care less about a volunteer that will come and go after a mere 3 weeks like so many others before them. Alternatively, other girls sit in their wheelchairs, slumped over and contorted, with blank stares on their faces and drool dripping onto their bibs. It can be hard to find a way to connect. 

So far, I’ve learned to take joy in the little moments and breakthroughs with them. I’ll share a few of these stories with you below. 

~On my first day at Daya Dan, I was told to feed lunch to Moumita—a sweet girl who is wheelchair bound and has limited motion in her arms and legs. She can’t communicate verbally with anyone in Bengali or English, but she has her eating strategy down to a science. When she’s ready for a bite, she’ll tilt her head up and to the left, opening her mouth really wide. She won’t hit this position again until she has fully finished the previous bite. Once we made it through all of her food, I brought her to her bed and placed her into it with the help of one of our amazing trip leaders, Alicia. As I was saying goodbye and thanking her for making my first time feeding at Daya Dan so easy, her hand slowly crept up and held mine against her face. She looked straight into my eyes and formed her now signature Moumita grin where she smiles so hard that she squints.

~During last Saturday’s weekly trip to the park, I played with Jyoti—a 6 year old girl with a super cute, but serious face. I’ve come to learn that she’s quite independent and likes to do things on her own. Around Daya Dan, she has her own way of getting around by catapulting herself off of her knees in a frog jump like motion. But since she has a hard time walking upright, she was in a wheelchair for the excursion. She grabbed my hand while I was next to her and started smacking it against things, such as the bench I was sitting on or a nearby pole. She is small yet very strong so it started to feel a bit malicious over time. When she switched it up and hit my hand against the tin wheel of her chair instead, Alicia pointed out that she may be trying to make music. I realized that she was keeping a pretty steady beat. I sang “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” along with her beat and she stared up at me fascinated, which was a change from her serious demeanor. I continued to sing for as long as her hand led mine and she eventually cracked a few smiles and even let out a few notes herself. 

~The first time I met Radhika, she was sleeping on the floor in the main room of Daya Dan during playtime. One of the sisters soon came over and abruptly pushed her upright. She explained that if she sleeps now, she won’t sleep when they are supposed to later and she will most likely moan, keeping other girls from sleeping. She suggested that we get her moving in order to keep her awake so Alicia, Becca (another student on this trip) and I took turns walking her around the room. She reached about 7 laps when her legs started to give so we sat her down. As Alicia and I made attempts to talk with her, sing to her or touch her, but she did nothing in response besides sticking her fingers into her mouth and staring off into space. She would occasionally look at us, but her head moved so slow, as if she was stuck underwater. I was ready to give up. However, when I stood to stretch my legs, she looked up at me and held my hand as if afraid that I was going to leave. I reassured her that I wouldn’t, but she used my hand to pull herself up and we went back to walking her around the room.

There have been many instances during my time in India when I’ve questioned the purpose of me being here. Besides lightening the burden of laundry, how am I serving these girls during my brief time at Daya Dan? Although there are multiple ways to answer this question, I think the main reason is to show the girls that they are loved. Whether they were given up as babies or taken away from families who couldn’t take care of them and/or abused them, we are here to give them the extra care and compassion that they deserve. 

It’s little moments like I described above that will stick with me after the trip. My hope is that these brief interactions bring them happiness in that instant and an overall sense of feeling loved as volunteers cycle in and out. Little do they know how much these moments will mean to me for years to come. 

Amanda Fitzpatrick '18